When it came to your kids  requests this year, was it: Thoughtful Requests or Wretched Excess?

Are we teaching them to be gracious in both the giving and receiving of gifts or is there a sense of entitlement? Graciousness is an often overlooked value in this day and time. With the economy such that it is one would think that a paring down of excessive gift-giving would have occurred. But did it? Did you honor your kids request for an elaborate gift on their list and prehaps cut corners somewhere else? I realize that the sad shape of the economy cannot be fully understood by the youngest members of the household but let’s face it, it does affect everyone. The realities of less money, job loss, inflation and rising costs weighs heavily on each of us… especially at Christmas time! If the effects of the economy crunch put a kibosh on many of our “would-be” purchases… maybe that is a good thing.

So my solution, in simplified terms is to teach our children, at any age, to think carefully and thoughtfully about their requested list next year and in years to follow. And after they receive a gift, teach them to be gracious and write a thank you note or letter for the gift. This can be something as simple as an email but a handwritten note is nice as the note itself becomes a “gift” to the giver.

In years past, I have seen lists are scattered with items ranging from expensive “smart phones”, iPods, iPads, designer bags, and expensive gaming systems to outrageous requests for cars for which even a college graduate cannot qualify. Ask yourself…..What are we teaching our kids when we provide for them these luxury items at such a young age?

In future posts I will offer suggestions of opportunities to give back through volunteerism. Stay tuned!

Food for though! I would love to hear your comments…..

Related articles

• Christmas Wish List Dilemma (caimommy808.wordpress.com)
• Teachable Moments: Life and Money Lessons From the Holidays. (ginasmom.com)
• Simple Living with Children: The Christmas Conundrum (imperfecthappiness.wordpress.com)
• Teaching Kids the Art of Appreciation – Even When Disappointed (connecttofammin.wordpress.com)
• How to Dodge 4 Expensive December Disasters (dailyfinance.com)
• Five ways to avoid Christmas morning tantrums (ctv.ca)

This is a repost from a few months ago…. and a tribute to my sweet daughter who wrote this.

I am thankful for you Alissa… at Thanksgiving time and always!

I love you! Your Mom

Orginal Post: May 2011

For “Be My Guest Thursday” I have chosen a VERY special guest blogger! My daughter Alissa! About six months ago she wrote a beautiful letter describing her baby’s first experience with the fall leaves. Marissa was about 14 months old then. This poignant piece is insightful from a new mother’s perspective.

Since this week was Mother’s Day and if it weren’t for her….I wouldn’t Mom or a Grandmommy (“Gigi”)…. I thought it would be a great time to share this with all of you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I love you,  Alissa…. ALWAYS have…and ALWAYS will! I am so proud of the Mom that you have become. You are the sweetest gift God every gave me… and now I think you know how that feels!

Life’s Leaves by Alissa Gray McQuaig

Today I thought I’d take you outside for a few minutes to see that Fall had arrived. You took a few steps, looking around at what I could guess would be all the bright beautiful colors around you. Just as you like to have a cracker in each hand, you gently picked up two leaves amongst the hundreds lying around you. You continued to walk around, even took the hill in our driveway with ease. “Yeah you did it!” I said. Beaming with joy as if you had climbed Mt. Everest, still clutching the leaves. One brilliant red, the other was brown. They had cracked a little in your tiny hands. We said goodbye to Daddy, he was in his car at the street. You reached your hands out to him, as to show off those leaves. I wonder what you said to him? As I carried you back to the house I had to slowly pry away the brown leaf from your right hand, you started to chew on it. “Oh no Marissa, that’s nasty” I said. The red leaf was getting smaller from the pieces that had broken off. But you were clutching it, as if it was the only leaf that you would ever touch, smell or crumble in your hands. “Oh Marissa” I said, “there will be plenty of leaves for you to play with. This isn’t the only one baby”. Your eyes welled up with water, just as mine are right now. Your head was thrown back and your bottom lip pushed out as far as it would go. One pretty red leaf, broken into about 20 pieces, as I took the last crumble from your tiny hands, I nuzzled my face in your neck and told you that you didn’t have to hold on so tight to this leaf and it was okay baby. I love you my Pookie Boo!

Not 30 seconds in the house you had forgotten about the leaf which lay in our garage. You were off to play with your next toy. But it stuck with me, as much as I wanted to for you to understand that it was okay, that you could let go of it, I was also amazed at just how innocent you are. You don’t know how many leaves you will encounter in your life. One day those leaves may be a friend, a special toy, a dream of what you want to be, a pet, a boy in school. As much as I don’t want you to hold on too tight to the first one, I hope you will always embrace life’s leaves with the sweet innocence of a child and remember, if you hold too tight, it will crumble in your hands.

Marissa with Alissa – September 2010

 As my special gift to all of you who love a Vet or have loved ones serving our Country now or has previously served, I give you another “little cup of George”. Lt. Col George Fisher is my wonderful friend, fellow Maconite, and a fine example of what this country has to be proud of… those who bravely serve so that we may enjoy our freedom! Almost two years ago George’s great friend came home unexpectedly from Iraq. This is the story of how they “delivered the package” and surprised a very happy wife and family! Visit George’s blog: http://www.fisherchronicles.blogspot.com/and check back as he is a regular contributor to my blog as a part of my “Be My Guest Thursday!”. Thank you George for this story and for your service to our beloved USA!

The story of his own homecoming can be found here on my blog at http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/05/29/daddys-home-by-george-l-fisher/.

Read, cry, laugh and enjoy my talented friend’s words!

 Sunday, January 17, 2010 at 6:56pm
This whole thing started about two months ago in November-Major Mike “Lip
Dawg” Lipper, deployed soldier of the 48th Brigade, was planning the most
classified and potentially hazardous mission in his career.

Mike sent an email to a scant few individuals his warning order: to surprise his wife
Meg and the tater tots, Klein and Addison, on his early arrival home from
Afghanistan. Lip Dawg was to be sent home with the “Torch
Party”, the very first of the first in the unit that would help receive the
48th when they returned. It was payback time!
Top Secret, he said. Double secret probation. This was to be in retaliation
for the surprise visit she made back in May on a media visit to Camp
Atterbury while Mike was training for deployment, the shock of that surprise took 10
years off his life. He said so, and had you seen the look on his face, you
would have known this to be true.

A week or so after Mike’s warning order, the list of the “Torch
Party” was published–Mike wasn’t listed-I forwarded the email to him, which
not only ruined his day, but probably his entire month.

A little Background.
When I arrived in Iraq in 2005, it was dark, windy, hot, dusty, and I was
helpless,heartbroken and homesick. Out of the darkness roared Then Captain
Mike Lipper, hellbent for leather on a four-wheeled gator. He grabbed me, my
duffel bags, and took me to my quarters, pointed to the latrine, tucked me in
and said “I’ll come get you in the morning”….then roared back out into the
Iraq night to attend to other thankless duties as the Headquarters
Commandant.

In Short, I owed Mike Lipper. I love the guy. He is funny and even sold me
his mid-life crisis car, which is now my mid-life crisis car. If he needed
anything, I vowed, I would do my best to make it happen.

But here I was sending him an email that says he is NOT coming back early.

As things happen, only in the last two weeks did the Phoenix arise from the
ashes. There was a conference to be held at Ft Campbell, KY in late January
and it just so happened that Mike’s bosses in country assigned him to go,
and then let his R/R leave kick in as well!!! The surprise attack was BACK
ON!!!

The clandestine emails start back: there was a deception plan to fly Meg to
Kentucky “on business” that Ruth Sykes would be the main effort for-on the
contingency Mike had to report there first-then there was another course of
action where Mike would fly from Kentucky to Atlanta and one of us would pick
him up, hopefully in time to watch daughter Addisons last basketball game of
the season.
Plans were discussed, and “what if’d” to ensure a contingency and maximum
flexibility-and then the emails were silent for several days. We thought the
worst. Not another cancellation, we feared until the following message was
received immediately prior to Mikes going off the net for good:
“landing in ATL tomorrow – SUN morning at 0915.”
Little did we know he was in Kuwait already and on a borrowed computer.

Our “close circle of trust”, as Mike referred to us, would be left to solve
the rest of the math problem-The Rosses and Lewis’ would create the necessary
diversion at Church and the ensuing lunch on Sunday whilst I would, naturally
being a logistics guy, “secure the package”.

After supper, then to bed. 0300 hours, wide awake. I pace to and fro, to and
fro, to the bathroom, then to and fro some more-then downstairs to watch some
television, read the paper online, make coffee, and wait until Wifey awakes,
because she isn’t about to miss this.
It’s now 0330…..0335…..0345…..after an eternity, a pot of coffee and
finishing up a John Wayne movie, we are on the road at 0730. Arrive at 0830.
Park. Walk to North terminal. Go potty for the 8th time since 0300. Buy wifey
a froo froo coffee and find a seat. It’s on or about 0900-we see a crowd of
soldiers by baggage claim and go investigate just in case the “package”
arrived early. He hasn’t. We go back to our seats, strategically located that
no one gets past us without us seeing them.
Cricket. Cricket. The USO folks, ever-present and unsung heroes all, clap
each time a service person ascends from the escalator. Each time we look for
the package. Alas, it is other packages, all of them dear to our hearts, but
destined for other recipients.
It’s after 0915. I’m bug-eyed. Wifey said “he said it was going to take about
an hour”–and having been thru the same process I know this-yet it doesn’t
help my angst. I send a text message to the “attack team” that we are in
position and will apprise of updates.

0920…..0930. USO personnel clap. We look. Nada. Lather, rinse and repeat.
0945, 0955, 1005-OK WHERE IN GODS NAME CAN HE BE??? Surely he snuck by us and
is either in north or south terminal baggage claim and is perhaps on the
smelly GROOME shuttle headed for Macon-and I’m going to get a call from him
saying “I’m here, please come get me and take me to my family”, to which I’m
going to have to say “sure thing Lippy I will be there in an hour, by which
time he could crawl on his hands and knees to the Church and launched his
surprise offensive all by himself.
“Are you sure?” Is what Wifey said after each of my comments-
“Sugar, he has to come up the escalator from customs, to baggage claim,
etc–”
“Are you sure?” She asks. My hair, what’s left of it, was coming out in
clumps.
Finally maintaining my composure and dealing with the facts, we positioned
ourselves directly behind the USO kiosk, and clapped for the soldiers when
they came up the escalator-looking from our view you would see the tip of the
head first and then as the escalator kept going slowly the rest of the
persons body would come into view-and there were as many civilians coming up
that escalator as there we’re Soldiers.
One soldier came up whose wife and little baby went running over to and they
both embraced. It would have been a touching moment had half of the ladies
butt crack had not been exposed. It was a butt crack, in all honesty, that
shouldn’t ever see the light of day. Ever. Ahem.
There was another soldier whose young girlfriend came running up to and like
out of a movie, they embraced. Everyone clapped. They remained embraced. It
appeared the soldier must have been a ENT medical professional-i mention this
only because he seemed to be giving her tonsils quite the inspection. Ahem.

The heads appear a bit more frequent now. None of which are Lippy Dawg Heads.
I could pick his noggin out of times square on New Years Eve I’m convinced, I
had seen it enough-actually I had seen lots of Mike Lipper, in fact every bit
of him, but that’s another story for another day, and best told by Mike
himself.
Another text SITREP (situation report) to the team-they are on pins and
needles-i am too. In fact one couldn’t drive a ten penny nail up my behind
with a sledgehammer.
It doesn’t appear even if he shows up in the next minute that we can make it
back to Macon and the church before Sunday Services are over.
The escalator ascends. The tip of a head. The flat top haircut and baby
bottom smooth sidewalls of one Major Mike Lipper are seen. “There he is” I
tell Wifey, and we move out to greet him–finally.
Well, not so fast. The USO folks, bless their hearts, go about looking at
each soldier in the eyes and asking them if they can help them in any
fashion–Mike sees this guy before he sees me. The USO representative asks
him if there’s anything he can do for Mike, and before he can reply I say “
NO SIR-WE GOT HIM-He’s going with us!”

He still didn’t know it was me-i wasn’t in uniform nor had he gotten my last
email telling him we would pick him up-he was now bug-eyed.
Times like this bring on the snot bubbles. It just happens.
Half laughing, half crying, he gave us a hug. This man who just a moment
before looked so weary and exhausted, was now wearing a smile that a
mortician couldn’t remove. Our demonstration was almost as good as the butt
crack lady and the tonsillectomy, even if “G” rated.
The PACKAGE was secure. The Eagle had landed.
Swiftly to baggage claim while I texted the team that we had Mike.
in no time we were at the car and southbound-now for the real issue-the
ATTACK had to commence, but where? Church? The restaurant? Back at la casa de
Lippy? I was driving 85 mph and had my blackberry in my hand trying to figure
out our next phase–it looked as if the restaurant would be the place-i sent
a quick text to the newspaper photographer and he said he would notify the
reporter. OK, our ETA about 1215 hrs I guessed. About five minutes later
Sharell called and said we have it set up here for the church–the rest of the team had been
doing an excellent job of contingency planning and although we changed the
plan it, like the Doolittle Raid, was ON! My only job was to get the package
there in one piece, no small feat when you drive like you were taught how by
a one-eyed man, which I was. Mike called his Mom and told her he was
home-she knew of the plan but only since Christmas.
Sharell and the team had it arranged and told us where to show up at the
Church-Ruth Sykes was able to teach her Sunday School class at her Church and
she too would watch this defining moment unfold for Mike and his family.
Back in Macon. The exit. Another call. All systems GO, I repeat All systems
GO! I told Wifey to prepare the cabin for landing.

We got to the church, parked right along the curb, and got out of the car. As
Wifey says, “Mike was vibrating he was so excited.”

Sharell and Dianne had worked it out so that Meg and the kids were sitting in
the main foyer of the Church with their backs to Mike-
Mike, followed by the rest of us, moved in. Meg and the kids were on the
bench, unaware. Dianne and her husband and some others had them posing for a
photograph. Little did they know what was about to happen.
Mike came up quietly from behind while they were all “cheezing” for the photo
and “cheezed” right along with them-they STILL hadn’t seen him! In another
second, Mike leans around, and kisses Meg on the cheek. She STILL is in the
“say cheese” mode for the photo, as are the kids-The “photographers” quite
naturally forcing them to maintain the pose –a perfect example of a
coordinated attack.
In another instant, Meg casually looks over her shoulder to see who gave her
the peck, and then……..

A scream. Then the sound of kids jumping on Dad, pictures being taken by the
hundred, kleenex being ripped from purses, laughter, tears, tears, and more
tears. The attack sprung right there in the Lipper’s Church and in their hometown.
The greatest operation Major Lipper ever planned. And one thousand percent
successful with many casualties, all of whom wear smiles on this Sunday
afternoon that a mortician couldn’t remove.

A soldier, friend, dad, and husband comes home. One down, a couple thousand
more to go until all the 48th is back.

Welcome Home Lippy. We missed you. And thanks again for looking out for me
that night in Iraq.
George

& Everything

NOT TO!

Graphic Art by Rodney White

I am so inspired by this phrase which I found as soon as I was introduced to the work of a young artist named Rodney White who specializes in vintage graphic art. Rodney and I have something in common… we were both raised in Georgia. Upon closer inspection, we have even more in common. We are both artists of sorts… as I am an interior designer. His bio even states that he “loves furniture  and dreams up living spaces”. We both believe that dreaming is fundamental to achieving your life’s purpose. When his art came to my attention… I just knew I wanted to write about him and his wonderful take on optimism! In this world where it seems so many people  have given up on dreaming, his work takes you back to a simpler time… even if you never lived in that time. It is reminiscent of the tattered billboards that I saw when traveling along the highways with my parents in the 50s and 60s. These signs were often painted directly to barns or sides of a wooden building…I can only describe them as “vintage”. When I saw Rodney’s art I made me dream of  a much simpler time before electronic billboards and cell phones in everyone’s possession.

“It’ll cost you nothing to dream & everything not to”. What a simple thought. What a complicated truth! Really when you think about it, dreams are at the beginning of every great invention….printed word, modern medicines, the electric light bulb, personal computers and even the cell phone! Someone HAD to allow themselves to step outside of their own day-to-day reality and DREAM before any of these inventions could have come to fruition.

What are you dreaming about? What have you NOT allowed yourself to dream about yet? When are you going to drop the “I can’t” and “What if’s” and JUST DREAM? What will it “cost” you if you never get around to that dream? I urge you to take Mr. White’s advice and dream. I had a dream. I dreamed I would become a writer. And now I have a blog which I have just celebrate the end of my first year! Yeah ME! I actually did it! Now I’m onto my second year of blogging… and dreaming of meaningful posts that will move my readers to become more everyday. The other half of this dream is to help parents find a way to open up meaningful avenues of conversation with their kids. I am hoping that this and other posts have done just that!

Thank you Rodney White for your inspiration and your gift to the world with the stroke of your brush. You said you like people who “get you”… count me in that group!

Bio: Rodney White

Rodney White is a self-taught artist and a 1999 graduate of Dekalb Technical Institute in Visual Communications. As a graphic designer he has a love for type, vintage design and advertising. Most of his free time is spent either painting or gathering ideas to paint.

“I see things everywhere and every day that gives me some idea for my pieces. I love to visit flea markets and antique markets. I notice the natural aging of the things around us. Billboard signs, buildings, packages, and aging paper catch my attention. I seek to replicate the rusting and decaying look of the things I see.”

Other artists who have influence on White are Sabrina Ward Harrison, Rik Catlow, Anja Kroenke, Tim Marrs, Ashley Wood and various Fine and Folk artists. Poets and poetry, books and magazines are also favorites. A lot of his paintings come from what he writes often in his Journal/Idea books.

White has eclectic interests and hobbies as well. He loves furniture and dreaming up living spaces, movies, and collecting and listening to music. He enjoys learning about people and their stories. He believes everybody has them, but not everybody has someone that wants to listen to them. A dreamer, White is always dreaming.

http://www.houseofhepworths.com/2010/07/09/rodney-white/

http://market.rodney-white.com/about

http://market.rodney-white.com/shop/painting/nothing-dream

http://www.artthatfits.com/art/Video.aspx?type=Artists&ply=y&ind=6380761

http://www.squidoo.com/rodney-white-self-taught-artist

Related articles

• Rodney White Art (kitkat7145.wordpress.com)

I invite you to read my post from last Halloween as I celebrate my one year in blogging!

 http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2010/10/31/happy-halloween-superheros/

 This Halloween spend some special time with the little one. Here’s some ideas on how to make your holiday a little more fun!

1.  Carve some pumpkins

I have listed some links below that have free pumpkin carving templates. Just practice safe knife skills while watching little fingers! Also tips on toasting the seeds are also available online. This teaches resourcefulness to kids and gives you a treat to eat!

2. Decorate some mini “pumpkins”

Here’s a simple trick if carving is not possible. A visit to the grocery store then the fabric shop for a few ribbons …

a little glue and you have your decorations (which will keep til Thanksgiving!)

33. Let them help you decorate a table

See this quick and easy tablescape above using the same cute “pumpkins” and some hurricane globes with pins to hold in place. These items can easily be found at many local craft store!

4.  Go candy shopping

Find some coupons for Halloween candy in your local paper (lots of them this time of year) and look at the store ads… like Walgreens, CVS, Rite-Aid. Then match them to your coupons for the most bang for your buck! Let the kids help scout for the bargains. You have to buy candy if you are going to participate in “Trick or Treat” so you might as well make it a fun experience while saving money and teaching the little ones to save too! 

Whatever you do… have fun and be safe! These meaningful times together will never be recreated so please spend it wisely!

Some articles I like!

http://theresjustonemommy.com/?p=1413

http://www.hgtv.com/decorating-basics/beginner-halloween-pumpkin-carving-templates/pictures/index.html

http://www.hgtv.com/decorating-basics/beginner-halloween-pumpkin-carving-templates/pictures/index.html

http://halloweencoloringpages.blogspot.com/2011/07/halloween-party-coloring-pages.html

http://halloweencoloringpages.blogspot.com/2011/07/charlie-brown-halloween-coloring-pages.html

Related articles

• 5 Easy, Inexpensive, & Totally Cute Halloween Costume Ideas (collegecandy.com)
• Halloween Costume Ideas 2011 and Other Ways to Celebrate and Save (savings.com)
• Halloween safety reminders (charlotte.news14.com)
• pumpkin HALLOWEEN masks (amomwithalessonplan.com)
• Halloween 2011: Stars at the Pumpkin Patch! (news.instyle.com)

“For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it.

When you come to a roadblock, take a detour!”

Mary Kay Ash, Founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics

My granddaughter, who just turned two last month, loves Caillou! He is a little perpetual 4-year-old cartoon character that is featured on the popular kids channel “Sprout”. Recently as I watched one episode with her, I noticed that he was discussing roadblocks and detours with his Mommy. She said the tree had blown down in the storm and that they had to make a “detour”. Caillou was curious as to what a detour actually is… and his Mom explained that it is a path that you take when you have to go around something. That got me thinking about how we as adults need to often take a detour in life.

We should ask ourselves “Is what I am doing getting me where I need to go?” If not, a detour may be in order!

We look at “failures” that come along… a loss of a job, a friendship, a partner or a parent…and we should ask ourselves “Is it time for a detour?”.

I viewed an excellent video this morning of Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple, as he made the  2005 Stanford commencement address. His passing this week was a reminder of the fact that “failures” in our lives are often the BEST things that happen to us as they force the detours that lead us to be better people.

I encourage you to watch this video. It is 15 minutes well spent! After watching… ask yourself “What’s my excuse?”. I did!

Rest In Peace Steve!

Thank you for your inspiration and your ability to view failures as a porthole to something bigger!

I suppose I have given more questions here than answers… but truly the answers lie within each of us. Often the answers are buried deep and take a lifetime to surface. Sometime they never do and people die without realizing their full potential. I hope that one thing I say here in my blog sparks a question in you and encourages you to dig deeper to find that which makes you happy! That is my wish for each of you. Thank you for reading and following.

Related articles:

What are the roadblocks to success? (maggielr.wordpress.com)

http://angelairvin.wordpress.com/2011/02/06/roadblocks/

http://www.motifake.com/81013

http://www.marykaytribute.com/default.aspx

Now that Fall is here you might be looking for a way to spend some quaility time with the kiddos… but since it’s the end of the month (and the month ALWAYS seems to last longer than the money) I thought you might enjoy knowing about some free things to do together! 

1. Build something with your kid!

This Saturday (9/24) take the kids to Lowe’s! No they aren’t paying me to say this….  They are offering a free “Build and Grow” workshop where your kids can build a firetruck! All supplies are free and kids get an apron, goggles and a completion patch at the end of the workshop… only catch… you have to register! So go HERE and get them on the list for this fabulous free even! 

https://www.lowesbuildandgrow.com/

(If you miss this week… check the schedule at your local store! They offer these free events almost every month! Other home centers do as well….) 

2. Take a walk!

A walk is free and priceless at the same time. It is a perfect time to walk and pick up beautiful leaves which could open up all types of topics. You might ask (unless they ask first) “How do the leaves turn all these colors?” or “Can you name the colors you see?” My daughter used to love to collect leaves in the fall and we would press them between wax paper to preserve them. She is 30 now and I swear I believe I STILL have some of those leaves!

3. Teach your kids to use a camera!

 I recently heard of an idea where your child is asked to find something to photograph that begins with the letter A, B … and so on. If this idea initiates a conversation then I say give it a try. Otherwise, with todays digital technology… they might just like to go out and  take pictures of things that they like. Again you might be amazed at what they find interesting and you might just have a budding photographer on your hands!

4. Let’s have a cooking lesson!

Photo Credit: http://cooking724.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/kids-cooking/

Pick one fall treat that you enjoyed as a kid (mine is homemade popcorn balls….yummy) and teach your kids to make it. Or let them suggest something that they want to learn how to make. You may be surprised at how creative they can be! 

5. Involve them in your football watching!

Whether it be your favorite college team on Saturday or your NFL Fav on Sunday… let the little ones get involved too! This is a great time to answer questions about sportsmanship and how to be a team player.  Please remember to be patient and watch the explatives … they are little carbon copies of you!

6. Teach them one thing that you learned from your Grandparent!

Photo Credit: http://www.lilsugar.com/Family-Ties-What-Call-Grandparents-1134034

In my most recent blog post I wrote about my Grandmama Bessie (http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/on-being-a-mother-and-even-better-a-grandmother/). She taught me some amazing “lost arts” like sewing and cooking. What type of things did you Grandparents teach you? How to whittle? Make a bird house? Master the yo-yo? 

7. If you blog, ask each of them to write a guest post

 If  they aren’t old enough ask them to draw a picture which you can feature on your “guest blogger’s” day! This will bring them such joy to be “published” and who knows what budding writers we have hidden in our own families!

8. Storytime at your local bookstore!

Check out the scheduled free storytimes at your local bookstore. Doesn’t cost a thing and they may just fall in love with reading!

9. Check your local museums for their “free” day!

We are so fortunate in Memphis to have an array of fabulous Museums available and many of them have free or greatly reduced days for kids! So while you may not have the Cotton Museum (shown above), the Civil Rights Museum or even the home of Elvis in your city… There are wonderful museums everywhere just waiting for you and the kids to explore! *Ask them about a yearly family pass to save money all year long.

10. Google your city then go explore a site that you have not visited yet!

http://www.memphisloveskids.com/

Find out what untapped resources you have in your city. In Memphis we have trolleys to ride and Beale Street to see. Do some digging on the computer and see what your city has that could be fun for a free fall afternoon!

11. Farmer’s Market exploration!

Photo Credit: http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/836245/things-your-kids-can-learn-at-the-farmers-market

The Farmer’s Market is a wonderful place to share your knowledge of different types of fruits and veggies. How many vegetables can they find? Make a game of trying to fill in the blank A-Z. Then let them pick one vegetable that looks interesting to them that they have never tried. Who knows, maybe their involvement will make them more interesting in eating it.

12. Check out your local “Kids eat FREE or CHEAP” for Saturday and Sunday

In Memphis the following restaurants offer cool deals for kids and parents on weekends!

Texas Roadhouse, Piccadilly Cafeteria, Firehouse Subs… just to make a few! Check out your local area online to see what you are missing!

Please remember that the meaningful conversations… the ones that lead to stories and lessons of life… often come from the small quiet times that we spend with our kids one-on-one! Doesn’t have to be an elaborate day out or an expensive event… just you and them sharing life and making lasting memories! 

Related Articles:

http://www.shesaved.com/2011/09/free-lowes-fire-truck-workshop-for-kids-this-weekend.html

http://www.techlicious.com/guide/the-most-and-least-reliable-digital-camera-brands/

http://www.myrecipes.com/kids/cooking-with-kids-recipes-and-ideas-10000001814441/

http://cooking724.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/kids-cooking/

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/836245/things-your-kids-can-learn-at-the-farmers-market

http://kidsblogs.nationalgeographic.com/greenscene/2009/11/raking-and-composting-leaves.html

“Being a mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my
field, since the payment is pure love.”
~Mildred B. Vermont

MARISSA GRAY!

It’s fitting that I write about my only child’s only child on the occasion of her second birthday!

Honestly… before I became a Grandmother, I thought “What is the BIG deal?” When my friends who had become grandparents prior to me would go on… and on… and ON about their kid’s kids… again I would say “What is the BIG deal?” (if only to myself!).  I now know what the big deal is. It is joy at it simplest. It is unmeasurable happiness. It is a vulnerable love that opens your heart and reminds you of the sweetest memories that are tucked way back in your mind… twenty… thirty years old or more.

When Marissa was first born I would sit and hold her, looking deep into those beautiful brown eyes. One day I just began to weep as I held her. The love overflowed and came out in the form of tears… guessing it had to go somewhere! This immense love washed over me and I felt that I truly “got it” that day.

I remember the beautiful connection I had with my Grandmama. Having lost her some 28 years ago at age 27 I should have to dig deeply to pull up the memories of my times with her… but I do not have to dig at all. They are here on the surface of my soul. I was lucky enough to spend many summers with her in her small rural town…even though we lived about 400 miles away in a big city. She taught me the lost arts of quilting, cross-stitch, and crocheting. We made clothes from the left over Pajama Factory remnants that she inherited from a close friend. She taught me to cook, bake and canning. I learned when and how to pick beans and other vegetables from their small but bountiful garden. I had cold biscuits and gravy (cold by my choice) which my Grandmama had made from scratch every morning at about 4 am prior to my Grandaddy’s departure to work as a carpenter. She let me sleep until I wanted to get up which as I recall was typically about 9 am. My memory of bedtime is amusing. Since my grandparents arose so early… they would literally “go to bed with the chickens”! So before the sunset had time to sink into the night… I was expected to be asleep. What? It’s light out…. I’m 12! Nobody I know goes to bed that early! So I chuckle as I re-live the memories of TRYING to go to sleep before 8 pm.

Grandmama Bessie -

She would say “If it don’t love… don’t make it eat it” (we -the grandchildren- were the “it” she was refering to… so spoiled WE WERE!)

The tight bond between Grandparent and Grandchild. Is it because the years of parenting make us more grateful for the little things? I know that since I have become a grandmother, a “Gigi” to be exact, I have enjoyed precious moments with my granddaughter… as if I really didn’t know how to enjoy them the first time around as a Mom. I guess God gave me a “do-over”. I think I did pretty good the first time… kind of like taking a class and getting a “C+” or maybe a “B-” the first time around… then re-taking the class like 25 years later and getting an “A+”. Funny how a little life under your belt helps your perspective. Maybe realistically I have a Degree in Mothering and a Masters in Life 101. That is the “it” that I needed to get to…

So I hope when Marissa Gray turns 25 she will be blogging (or who know WHAT they will be doing by then!) about her crazy ”Gigi” who she has shared many countless wonderful fun filled days with and from whom she has learned much. I hope that I can impart some of my wisdom in her so that maybe her road to happiness will have less bumps and more downhill coasts! One Gigi can only hope.

I love you Marissa. Happy Birthday angel. And to my daughter Alissa, I love you and thank you for giving me this precious gift. Being a “Gigi” fits me JUST RIGHT!

Related articles:

http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/special-guest-post-lifes-leaves-by-alissa-gray-mcquaig/

My new friend who is a blogger, husband and 31-year-old father, T.J. Brown, has written a post recently entitled “The Sad Story of My Creation” http://thomasjohnbrown.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/the-sad-story-of-my-creation/. I was heartbroken for him as he told of his parents decision to have him and then tell him (his whole life) that he was a “mistake”! I was so appalled by this that I was compelled to comment on his post and that has resulted in the development of a sincere friendship. My respect for him is enormous as he works through the pain that this has caused him to this day. He blogs to air his feelings and “get it out”. This is a brave journey that T.J. has accepted and I am very thankful that our paths have crossed. His very supportive wife, Amber, comments on his every post and I can tell that there is much love and support for him through their relationship.

We as parents have an IMMENSE effect on our children and the kind of adults they will be! Words are weapons. Words are powerful especially being uttered by one’s own parent. The harsh words of “you were a mistake” can only serve to debilitate a child from developing in any sort of normal way! Why would a parent want that for their child? As I said in my response to him (in part): ”I am so appalled that parents could describe a child’s creation as a “mistake”. Honestly adults need to own up to their actions and stop the blame game… it was not the car load of people (regardless of race) or the missed birth control which is at fault here. The truth is, it seems, that your parents chose to have “divorce sex” as you call it and created another precious human being. I believe that God allows the people that are suppose to be born to be conceived and are allowed to live. Each life has meaning and teaches us lessons as parents. Your attitude is commendable. Please keep believing that you are special and NOT a mistake. You have the touched my life with this post and that is no mistake!”

I went on to tell him about someone who I worked for many years ago. She was told by her parents that she should have been aborted! Just knowing that her parents wished that she had never been born affected her daily existence and made her a very bitter and angry individual. It seemed to me that she was always looking to hurt others the way she was hurt. I may not be a Psychologist but I am smart enough to know that what we say to our children is carried throughout our lives. Unless we go through the long and arduous process of “reprogramming those tapes” in our minds… that is what plays over and over…. and over!

My story is a different from T.J’s as daylight is from darkness! My parents were married 13 years before my birth. My oldest brother was born about 13 months into their marriage and then there were 11 years of unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant with a second child. Eleven long year of being told that she was barren and may never have another due to complications that arose during the difficult birth of my brother. Imagine the happiness that they felt as they were finally able to tell their 12-year-old son that he was FINALLY going to be a big brother! That May my mother attended a local festival featuring a beautiful Queen and her court riding the “Strawberry Festival” float (a very big event in 1955!). Someone on that float had the name “Janiece”, I assumed it was the Queen but have never been able to confirm. I was told that my mother said “Oh if I have a girl I’m going to name her “Janiece”. I never met the person for whom I was named but always wondered if I could someday tell her that story. I was born about 4 months later… I was 3 weeks early and my parents had to travel from a rural Tennessee county about 90 miles away from Memphis to get to the hospital. Because of her complications she had a special doctor. They made it in time… No two parents were ever more proud to welcome their new baby girl… after over a decade of waiting.

When I was 18 months old their Christian strength was tested. I became very ill and was admitted to the hospital. The doctors told them to prepare for the worse. They said they had done all they could and that it was in the Lord’s hands. My mother used to tell me of how they kneeled at the foot of my hospital crib and prayed that God would spare my life if it was “His will”.

I was one sick little girl but the antibiotics and fluids that they administered  had given me the strength to pull out of the sickness. Iwas a fighter. Never gave up. My parents, both devout Christians, dedicated my life to the Lord then and there. I have scars in my forehead and my ankle that remind me of this story. As a huge happy surprise they welcomed another addition about a year later… my little brother! I have what I like to call a “brother sandwich”!

MY BROTHER SANDWICH

(Left – Johnny, my oldest brother, me and my “baby” brother David – right) 

Both my parents are no longer living but I can still hear my mother’s voice as she would recount how eternally grateful they both were that the Lord had spared my life. I always felt VERY special knowing that my parents desperately wanted me and then almost lost me…and then gratefully dedicated my life. They were wonderful examples of what a parent should be. I thank God daily that I had them in my life as shinning examples. And of course I miss them both terribly… Mom for 25 years and Dad only this year gone. You can read my memorial tribute to them here: http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/its-been-25-years-today-mom-i-still-miss-you/ and  http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/02/21/holding-daddys-hand-forever/.

It occurred to me that the story of my creation could not be further from that of T.J. We had very different welcoming committees. Mine was very much like a ticker tape parade and his was vastly different. Yet be both ended up blogging and sharing. We ended up having our paths cross because of these differences. We ended up as friends. Thank you T.J. for your inspiration. I wish you all the best on your journey.

Photo credit: http://iamachild.wordpress.com/category/wilbur-lawrence/

There is so little left unsaid regarding the tragic events of 9-11-01… But I feel that my heart still weeps and wants to be heard. As I watch this video that is a daughter’s tribute to her father lost on that day, I cry for her and for the times of her life that he missed. It is touching and sweet. I too lost my father this year and can certainly identify with a daughter’s pain and the immense loss (http://dsgnmomonline.wordpress.com/2011/02/21/holding-daddys-hand-forever/). But this loss was so diverse… so widespread. It was personal for so many yet so public. The morning of September 11. 2001 I lived in Northern California and woke abruptly as if someone was shaking me…but I was alone. My mind said “turn on the TV!” Almost like a scream in my head. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I watched as the second tower imploded. It was as if I was watching a movie instead of a live feed on the morning news! I was paralyzed with grief… for the people involved, for our brave firefighters and police and really for our country. Was this deliberate? What was next? Who would be the next target? I quickly called my daughter who was in college in San Diego. Admittedly she let the phone ring many times before she answered it…. she knew it was just “Mother”…. what now Mom? She said I “always” called. That morning was different. I told her quickly “turn on the news”…. She was a horrified as I was to see what was unfolding. In retrospect… I’m sure there are many 20 year olds that wish their parents could have called them that morning! We share a deep bond regarding the events of that day and talk about how it changed us.

I walked around in a daze for days. Unable to put the events into anything that I could get my head around. So senseless. So tragic. I was left with a feeling of helplessness like I am sure so many fellow Americans were. And ten years later I really am not sure I have yet come to grips with the enormity of it all. I still cry when I see the images and the touching tributes. Just last night I watched the movie “Remember Me” and wept. Please take time to watch this movie… then go and hug your kids and tell them you love them! We have today…and tomorrow is not promised. If the events of September 11, 2001 taught us anything… it taught us that one fact!

Related articles

• Recalling 9/11/01- The Day in My Life (lifewellblended.wordpress.com)
• The Songs Of 9/11 That Gave Us Hope (fresh1027.radio.com)
• Families of 9/11/01 (familymatterswithamber.com)
• Never Forget: Remembering 9/11/01 – Ten Years Later (fresh1027.radio.com)